Engrish for foodies!

My mother works opposite quite a few Asian grocery stores and often comes home with interesting and unusual items for me to try. Sometimes we don't have much idea what to do with them, but the thing you see above is a type of dried seaweed, which can be added by the handful to a clear broth, for a light, health-restoring meal (according to the shop owner).

But the real reason I'm posting pictures of it here, is because of the really funny English translations on the back (or Engrish, to be exact!). The timing of this is also funny, as I just read an entry on Food & Thoughts about exactly the same thing (heh! Crumbs of Dread!)!
Here, have a look at what made me start laughing:

Click to enhance
Mmm....gotta get me some red haired vegetables and namely hemp seed oil.
If you can't read it properly, here's a reproduction:

The laver belongs to the red dish a seaweed for red hair vegetables anticipating, the taste is fresh and beautiful, the nourishment enriches. Enrich to contain the protein, vitamin, calcium quality etc. Mineral quality etc. Mineral quality, usually edible healthful.
EDIBILITY METHOD: Tore the laver thin fragment an inside puts just the right amount water boils, putting the laver, joining the salt. Monodosium glutamate, chopped onion, tune up the flavor pour into the hemp seed oil namely.

Yes, clear as a Pacific fog at midnight, isn't it?
I've had a few really funny translations in my time. Last year I had a packet of Taiwanese 'Fry Powder'. This is what was written on the back. I swear I'm not making up these instructions:

-Use half-pak for medium-size family. Mix powder and agitate slowly
-Don't agitate too fast or too long so as to slow a little unsolved powder in the pulp
-Use some scrumbed bun for better taste (??)
-Tempertarure control is very important for powder frying. Optimum hot oil can send out the pulp drops immediately like surfing (!!)

You'll all have to surf over for some agitated scrumbed bun some time soon. :-)
For quite a few months, I used this Engrish as my signature on my emails. They are the assembly instructions for a Chinese-made drink holder to put in your car, that my friend bought from a $2 shop. He kept the box on display on his fridge door, for people to get a giggle. He still doesn't know how to put it together:

"Available to use each either of two men and lying on the plale you want. Attach drimking holder on plaleposition using the two-faceD glue. Be safe from all for the size case! If you want to use more than one, pastseach sides together with two-faceD glue...usemethodl !"

Isn't it fantastic!!

Incidentally, have you ever visited the site Engrish.com ? It's hilarious. I was just looking at the Engrish from other countries sections, and laughing very hard! (Today's favourite: the descriptions of 2 dim-sum offerings in a restaurant: 'Dumpling stuffed with the ovary and digestive glands of a crab' & 'Acid Food'. Mmmm....choices, choices.)